23 Mar Empowering Change in 2018 – Share One (Simple) Advice To Empower Change and Growth for Women of all Ages
Empowering Change in 2018
Share One (Simple) Advice To Empower Change and Growth for Women of all Ages
Dr. Danielle Delaney
KRI certified Kundalini Yoga Instructor, certified Holistic Nutrition + Lifestyle Coach, Plant-Based Chef, Breathwork Healer and Reiki Master
ACE Health Coach & Personal Trainer
Lisa R. Young
Psy. D Clinical Psycholgist
M.A., Founder of Tantra Flow Yoga, ParaYoga Level II Certificed Teacher, YA E-500
Dr. Christina Bjorndal
E-RYT500 Yoga Teacher; Certified Yoga Health Coach
Board Certified Health Coach
M.A, ACC, BCB
Psy.D. Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Laurel del Camino
ERY-T, NASM-CPT, Yoga Therapist
Jill Anenberg Lawrence
AADP Health Coach
Ph.D. Licensed Clinical Psychologist
PhD., Marriage, Family Therapist
Ph.D., M.B.A., M.A.
Sarah Callow-St. George
Monica Loren Corbett
Mind Body Healer
LMFT, MA, Psychotherapist
Michael S. Oden
Psy.D. DAPA. TF-CBT. EBP
Sherry S. Nafeh
Mindfulness Coach, Mentor & Speaker
Never, ever underestimate your own personal power. Your attitude and your outlook determine much of what transpires in your life. Your ability to say the simple word “no” to things, events and people that you don’t like can simplify your life and improve your trajectory toward success. Half of the formula for success and well-being, growth and empowerment lies in your own ability to truly get out of your own way. Wasting your precious time around toxic people and energy will always drain you and steal your Light and inhibit your growth. Without fail. Surround yourself only with those that are fountains, not drains, and avoid those who gossip and speak negatively. Be particular! Just because you have “always” done something or “always” known someone does not mean you always have to do so. Endings and exits are often beginnings that set us free, so learn to look at them as such. Make a change. You have a choice, so use it. The only thing standing in the way of a better life for you is YOU. You are not a tree! Make some moves.
I believe the most important thing we can do anytime we are embarking on making big shifts in our lives it to have compassion and patience for ourselves. Change doesn’t happen overnight but trust that with each small step, great transformations can happen. Also, one of the first things I ask my clients to do is to choose 5-7 words for how they want to feel in the coming year. An example could be healthy, happy, successful, energized, inspired, creative, abundant and joyful. If you are clear that this is how you want to FEEL, then these words will act as a guide post and inform every single decision you make. I love this because unlike goals, which can feel restrictive focusing on how we want to feel feels more supportive and empowering and naturally leads us to creating positive change in our lives with more ease.
Many women can remember the dreams they entertained for their future. Some wanted to be actors, doctors or teachers, but many will tell you that they abandoned their dreams. Why?
The world seen through the eyes of a child is beautiful. Anything can be possible. Dreams are born when we are children, and passions begin to form deep within our souls in those tender years. Children are our future, yes, but they are also right here with us today, and it is crucial that we take this amazing opportunity to empower our future leaders.
If you ask any successful woman today to reflect on the real secret of her success, she probably will share about an adult in her life who believed in her and encouraged her to dream.
We have more influence than we could possibly realize today. It is important to remind ourselves that the little ones around us are watching and learning and assigning value (or denying value) based on how we respond or fail to respond to them.
It can be daunting to consider the world that your little girl will encounter as she grows into a wild teenager and, eventually, into a loving young woman.
We might fail to see the beautiful potential as we empower girls and young women to see the true impact they could have on the crazy world around them.
Girls face a myriad of challenges, but if we prepare them and help them to engage those hurdles in creative and empowering ways, the possibilities could transform this generation of future women. Teenage girls face adult sex decisions that have critical impact on their lives. Even as small children, they begin to sharpen the skills they will need to face those challenges with strength.
We must remind our girls that they are strong, capable, beautiful, important, heard and valuable from the moment they enter our world, because unfortunately, they will hear, see and feel much to contradict those messages of hope and empowerment. As they grow up, we owe it to them to ensure that our loving voices are louder than the crowd around them is.
How can we empower tomorrow’s women? Yes!
Here are five ways to rethink and look creatively at how we can instill passion, compassion and confidence in the women of tomorrow.
1. See them. Children long for loving adults truly to see or acknowledge them. How often have you heard a child say, “Look” or “Watch me”? It is a key stage in development to desire not only for the primary adults in your life to see you, but also the world at large. Yet, we teach many of our young girls through our actions that a screen or a phone holds more interest or importance than they do. We miss key moments to show through our attention that they are important and they matter deeply to us.
2. Listen to them. Young girls and teenagers want to say so many important things. Will an adult hear them? Affirm their ideas, hopes and dreams? Think of a successful woman today. What was she thinking as a young girl? How did she share her ideas and thoughts with those around her? Who listened to her? You could be the person with whom a future president or scientist might share her initial thoughts, and she deserves to be heard. We all desperately need to hear her.
3. Treasure them. Reflecting on your childhood, do you remember a moment when you desired nothing more than for an adult – or anyone – truly to know and to treasure you? Many fairytale stories and movies center on this single theme: you are treasured. Girls – especially teenagers – seek this attention. They will either find it in healthy sources or move to unhealthy attention, which can send their young and innocent lives down a spiral of hopelessness. Give young girls a strong reminder every single time you see them that they are of great worth.
4. Encourage their passions. Young girls experience the world with fresh eyes and hopes. They see things many adults are simply too busy or too jaded truly to see. The things about which they are passionate could influence not only their future, but also our future, as they grow, learn and experiment. We can educate, train and cultivate them in their passions. We can encourage them to dream, think and ask questions. Ultimately, we will miss the most if we squash their creativity, innovation and passion.
5. Learn with and from them. It is easy as an adult in our fast-paced adult world to dismiss the young ones around us, but we do this at great peril to ourselves. Today’s young girls are the leaders of tomorrow and, even more so, the hope of today. They have beautiful, brilliant, creative and inspiring things to teach if we only take the time to listen.
We miss so much if we do not take the time to read, laugh and explore the world with them. They need us, but more importantly, we need them. We need the young girls in our lives to remind us why we do what we do or to challenge us to rethink what we currently do.
We are the ones, honestly, who will miss out if we fail to empower the young women around us.
Age should never be the criteria by which we determine who deserves our time and attention. That little girl beside you could very well be the one who will change the world. Cherish the opportunity to influence her life richly.
Push your female friends, colleagues, family and peers to achieve their very best. Listen to their new ideas. Give them strength.
Tell them it’s OK to walk away from negative situations, even if it’s scary or painful.
Encourage them to take a leap of faith for what they want in life. Help them through the intimidating next steps, and let them know they deserve what’s on the other side.
Sometimes you have to hold a fellow lady when she’s down, and other times you need her to give you a shove in the right direction when the rest of the world tries to hold her back.
One of the best ways to empower women is to empower yourself.
Lead by example. Be everything that you would want your little sisters and cousins to be.
Show them it’s fun, beautiful and exciting to be genuinely yourself. Don’t accept less than you deserve from anyone at work or at home. Be tough. Be independent. Be honest. Be understanding. Be mature. Be authentic. Be kind.
Show others that you are what you preach, and each day is one more step towards a better world for all women.
“A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.” -Albert Einstein
My advice to empower change and growth for women of all ages is one simple word – Yes. Yes you can. Decide what you want, embrace your tribe, and make the decision to go for it. It’s 2018, no longer can we use the fact that we are women to not be able to achieve something-and I’m not the only woman that feels like that. There are other women that will embrace you and will support you in your endeavors. There are communities and support groups everywhere from a click away to your local communities. I’m more than happy to facilitate any connection for my clients or other women looking to expand outside of their comfort zones. As long as we communicate, listen, share and teach each other we can continue to help build each other up.
My one tip to empower growth for women would be — Believe in yourself and never give up. Whether its trying to lose weight, start your own business, or learn a new skill, keep going and persevere. Know you can do it and don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.
The most helpful advice I offer women I work with who are seeking to achieve change and empower themselves is to learn how to set healthy boundaries. This may sound fairly innocuous but it is actually a set of skills that, once learned, will strengthen your own voice and profoundly change the relationships in your life for the better. When you develop effective ways to express what you feel and think, and when you experience the ability to calmly and confidently ask for what you need from your partner and others, it is truly life-changing!
As women, we are natural caretakers. We put literally everyone and everything ahead of our own needs because it is our “job.” One of the hardest challenges is to redirect that energy and focus onto yourself. I encourage all women to take the time to make time for themselves everyday, even if it is for just a few minutes. We all need to recharge and when we are running for everyone else in our lives, our batteries can get drained. Even an extra 5 minutes deep breathing, taking a walk, stretching, or just being alone can help you relax and reconnect with you.
We can change and grow all throughout life. In fact, it is considered healthy to continually strive to grow throughout all stages of life. One of the most empowering ways for women to grow is by learning to truly believe in themselves.
The below “Personal Bill of Rights” is one such way to learn how to believe in yourself. Acknowledging and believing in these rights, and in turn, yourself, may just be what it takes to engage in a whole new world of self-love, self-confidence, and healthy assertiveness.
Personal Bill of Rights:
1. I have the right to change and grow.
2. I have the right to be healthy.
3. I have the right to make mistakes.
4. I have the right to say “no,” “I don’t know,” I don’t understand, or “I don’t care.”
5. I have the right to expect honesty from others.
6. I have the right to live by my own standards and set of values.
7. I have the right to change my mind.
8. I have the right to be respected.
9. I have the right to not take responsibility for others’ actions, feelings, or behaviors.
10. I have the right to be in a non-abusive environment.
11. I have the right to have my needs be as important as the needs of others.
12. I have the right to do things that others might not approve of.
13. I have the right to ask for help
14. I have the right to be myself.
15. I have the right to be happy.
Consider that you are powerful beyond measure. Take time each day to be present with your body. Avoid extremes. Breathe deeply and enjoy your senses. Use your mind but don’t let it use you. Speak your truth. Trust your intuition. Establish clear boundaries. Dance. Allow yourself to receive. Practice self-care daily.
Most women have been raised to please others and not do anything that might upset the boat. As a result, many of us have felt muzzled and have struggled to find our own inner Truth, which leads to our talents. There is a way to attend to this Truth peacefully, without purposely causing disturbance to others. And, we need to learn to love harder when we are faced with criticism and blame for honoring our Truth. Fearlessness is a result of increased love. That love must start with ourselves, making it so big that we have to share it with others.
In spiritual circles, many speak about “the voice.” We all have a voice in our head that keeps talking and talking, and many of us are completely absorbed by it. This is the voice that tells you why you aren’t good enough, that keeps you fearful or keeps you in analysis mode so you never end up making a decision. That is the wrong voice to listen to. When I suggest you learn to trust your voice, I am referring to your inner voice: the voice of truth that is always trying to get you to listen. There are many expressions for the idea of an inner voice: intuition, inner guide, sixth sense, gut feeling, soul, spirit, heart, voice of God, etc. I will use them interchangeably in this chapter. This is the voice that is trying to get you to live your purpose. The important questions are: Can you hear it? And if yes, do you listen to it? Learning to trust your inner voice is an integral part of healing. Intuitively, your body knows what to do to repair and self-heal. The problem for too many of us is that we don’t trust it. Instead, we remain in doubt, fear, depression, anxiety and indecision. Lack of confidence, indecision and self-doubt are all symptoms of depression that cloud our judgment and make it difficult to trust our intuition. A way into this is to learn to challenge yourself to sit with the pain you run away from. Observe how you’ve created your life to dodge everything you fear, whether its in relationships or work. Only then can the work needs that needs to get done be done and you will become the woman you are meant to be.
I now know that my inner voice is the only one to listen to. I no longer feel paralyzed by angst when making decisions. I may not understand why I’m following the voice, but I don’t argue with it. What you have to gain from learning to trust your inner voice is peace of mind, inner strength and joy. It also protects you from danger. Just as animals use their senses to protect themselves from danger— for example, fleeing to higher ground in the event of a tsunami—we have our own inner intelligence. It is that voice that says, “Don’t accept that drink” or that feeling inside that says, “Go left instead of right.” Your intuition is a built-in security guard.
These are the steps to take to learn to trust your inner voice.
I often say to patients that it is difficult to hear the voice of God if you are always talking. While prayer is a useful tool for many, it is still thought-based. To hear your inner voice, silence is required. Developing a regular breathing practice sharpens your awareness skills. It is through silence, stillness and an aware presence that your inner voice can be heard. The more you practice the 7 Rs of working with problematic thoughts and breaking the thought–emotion cycle, the more clearly you’ll hear your inner voice.
2. Reconnect with your body
Our bodies are always talking to us. That is why descriptive terms to describe your intuition include things like gut instinct and spidey-senses. I can literally feel tension around my stomach and heart when my intuition is trying to get my attention. A simple exercise to help you trust your inner voice (versus the voice of fear) is to start having a conversation with your heart. For example, in any given situation, you can pay attention to the response your body gives you when you ask for a Yes or No to a question you have or decision you are trying to make. If you notice a warmth or softening in your body, then the answer is Yes. If you feel a contraction, heaviness or closing, then the answer is No. The key is to figure out how your body communicates with you. Different people have different ways of tuning in to their inner voices.
3. Messages from the heart
A common concern is differentiating between the voice of the heart and the voice of the mind. If you aren’t used to tuning in to your gut feeling and trusting it, you might doubt its message at first. It would be nice if
there was a direct line to call—1-800-DOUBT —for assistance. Since that doesn’t exist, we end up calling someone for help and advice, often a parent, sibling, best friend, colleague or therapist. By talking to someone who knows us, we hope to get clear answers. The key is to learn to trust yourself for the answers versus searching outside of yourself. When it comes to “matters of the heart,” the answer resides in you. It requires listening. Start by having a conversation with your heart around simple decisions, such as: “Tonight, would you like brown rice or quinoa for dinner?” Slowly work your way up with these small decisions so that you can build your confidence when it comes to making bigger life decisions. I encourage you to check in with your heart for the small decisions you make every day, such as what to wear, which route to take when driving, what to order if you are eating out, what to watch on TV or what to cook for dinner. For any question, consult your heart and it will give you an answer. Learn to listen. Most importantly, learn to trust the answer.
It is one thing to differentiate your inner voice from the many other thoughts from your mind, another to trust it, and still another to act. The more you listen and act, the easier it gets. Learning to act despite fear is what is necessary. A book I read to help me with this was Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers. The goal isn’t to eliminate fear, but to trust your heart in the face of fear and understand that fear is part of the process.
Women are and always will be the healing elixir of the planet. Throughout the ages, throughout the globe women everywhere, suffer then and now from the wounds of his-story. The curse bestowed upon her is the worst of crimes- the loss of her own soul and ancient power. It is not what was done to her, which is bad enough, but what she does to herself because of it. Women never feel good enough, smart enough, young enough. ENOUGH! The good news is that in this time of re-evolution, she has the sovereign choice to stop this -and to make a decision to self- love. There is no one to wait for and no one to ask for permission. May she now reign again as the queen she is. May she understand the horror of her brainwashing through the centuries. May she now reboot her sacred power, move into the SOVEREIGNTY OF HERSELF, the place in her soul that no one can destroy, belittle, criticize, rape, weaken, kill or silence again. She must take back her throne. Here are declarations of power to begin the journey back to self – love. 1. I WILL NEVER AGAIN ASK FOR PERMISSION TO BE WHO I AM. 2. I WILL NEVER GIVE AWAY MY SOUL LIGHT AND I SHALL NEVER ALLOW IT TO BE TAKEN. 3. I WILL NO LONGER FALL PREY TO A LIFE SYSTEM THAT DOES NOT ALL ALLOW ME TO AGE OR CELEBRATE MY STRENGTHS. MY WEIGHT AND BEAUTY ARE NOT MEASURED IN BATHROOM SCALES OR MIRRORS. MY TRUE WORTH IS PRICELESS AND IMMEASURABLE. 4. I WILL NEVER ALLOW ANYONE TO PUT ME DOWN EVER AGAIN. I WILL NEVER ALLOW ANY WOMAN TO BE HURT. I WILL STAND UP , CHANGE LAWS, SCREAM, CHANGE INJUSTICES. SILENCE NO MORE.
women must begin by loving themselves- which is within their power and the cause for celebration.
Take time to nurture yourself. One of the biggest challenges I hear from women is the demands of the various roles they fill(mother, wife, daughter, worker, etc). The challenge is to remember to take care of yourself in order to make it a seamless transition from one role to the other.
Go for a walk. Do yoga. Take a bubblebath. Get together with friends.
Our needs as adults(time to ourselves, time with our significant other, time with friends) help us to be more relaxed and present as we go through our busy days.
I work with people every day empowering them to take the steps to effect lasting change in their lives and their health. I find it helpful to look at our relationship to change and our associated expectations around time. In our modern culture, everything is sped up and immediate. Information is at our fingertips. Texts and emails fly back and forth at the speed of light. And this has changed our expectations around how long things “should take”. Technology may work that way but we are a part of nature and nature doesn’t operate that way; for her, slow and steady wins the race. This is why, so often, the latest health craze or crash diet don’t ultimately work. They go too far, too fast and trigger a stress response in the body. They’re not sustainable. Take your time and allow your attitudes, self identity, habits and perspective change along the way. That will be what sustains you once you reach your goals and find your new normal. When we take time out of the equation we can fall in love with the process and make changes that last. Don’t let the time it will take intimidate or discourage you. The time will pass anyway! Spend it moving toward a worthwhile goal! You’re worth it!
My main piece of advice is this motto: Progress, not perfection. Oftentimes when people are trying to change habits or create better habits, they’re focused on being perfect and never making a mistake, which can be very discouraging (since mistakes are inevitable!) So I like to focus on the 80/20 rule (or progress, not perfection) — when you’re trying to make a change, try to make sure that new behavior is happening 80% of the time, and if you’re not perfect once in a while or make a mistake, don’t get discouraged! Just try better the next time.
I ask you to answer the following questions. Are you powerful? Are you willing to be more powerful? Are you willing to change in ways that will allow you to be more powerful?
I assert that you are powerful because personal power resides within all of us. When you are willing to give expression to your power, you are powerful. Conversely, when you do not give expression to your power you are not powerful. To be or not to be is a conscious choice.
My advice to empower change and growth for women of all ages, is to work to reclaim their intuition. Without an attunement to our intuition, we will miss what we need to take care of ourselves. A strong intuition helps us to trust ourselves and the world we live in. Knowing what we need, at a gut level, will provide healthy relationships with established boundaries, and quality bonding, will guide us in the care taking roles we find ourselves in, lead us to the right career, and other business ventures, and will, over all, protect our lives from what doesn’t and does need to be there. For many women, a sense of trust in themselves was lost along the way. Learning to begin to listen to that voice inside, that often still, small voice of intuition, will ultimately develop an empowered sense of self to create the growth we are hungry for.
Don’t be afraid to create boundaries with your work and the people around you. It is difficult to pivot when there is no wiggle room in your life. Change and growth can happen when you make space for them.
We owe it to each other to help others recognize the best and brightest among us. Build your own “good old girls” network to support other equally impressive women, even if it doesn’t directly benefit you as “the rising tide raises all ships”; so, recommend others for jobs, consulting work or partnerships, and not just because we are women, but because by working together, women of all ages can help each other grow, maximize our strengths and fulfill our potential as change makers.
Living an empowering life starts, in my opinion, with living simply. This involves being content with who you are as a person and learning to accept both your strengths and your weaknesses. As women, I believe that we often create a sense of “not being good enough.” This seeps into our personal and professional lives and can hinder true happiness. We strive to be more, have more, look better, be better. This is not to say that striving for personal improvement is unhealthy, rather, it becomes toxic when it is not coupled with acceptance and grace. Living simply also means being mindfulness of the things in life that bring true joy and always keeping them in perspective. Don’t be too busy to enjoy that beautiful sunset you adore or too overwhelmed to appreciate the people closest to you. Additionally, I recommend that as women we stop comparing ourselves to one another. We are all different, we have various strengths and weaknesses and one is no better than the next. When we stop comparing who we are then we can enter into a realm of self-confidence, acceptance, and true happiness. Lastly, learning to be grateful is the last piece of advice I would give to women of all ages. When you live simply and stop comparing yourself to others, then by default you will be appreciative of the life that you have. Staying in a negative mindset where you see the world half empty will almost always yield unhappiness, poor interpersonal relationships, and pessimism. For women, I say that feeling fulfilled starts with today…appreciate the little things and be optimistic about reaching your goals in life. With this type of attitude the process of achieving your dreams is not only possible, but can be a highly rewarding experience.
Find something that inspires you. Where do you want to be at the end of 2018 and what does that look like for you? Visualize it. Work backwards to create 9mo, 6mo, 3mo, and 1mo goals. From here work forward and give yourself weekly action items to get you there. Post this 2018 road map somewhere that you will see everyday. If your goals change, you can adjust your map!
Be comfortable and confident in your own skin and stop comparing to others! I believe comparison is the c*** block to happiness. We never know truly know what really is going on after someone posts a perfect photo on Instagram. Putting down our phones and living in real life with honest human interactions brings us back to the basics. Creating comfort in who we are, how we express ourselves, communicate with get this- eye contact and being real. Our unique quirks and personality traits make us who we are. Why would we want to compare and alter who we are to be more like someone we don’t know. I have a dirty sense of humor. I don’t want to hide that. Either people will connect and laugh at it or they won’t. And if not, that’s ok. They’re not my people. At least I’m staying true to who I am and being comfortable in my own sassy skin. Confidence isn’t something we are given, it’s a quality we decide to f***ing own! Embrace beautiful you and do the same my friends!
Change can be difficult for almost anyone. We seem to value the possibilities that change promotes, but avoid the behaviors that lead to actual change and personal growth. Perhaps this comes from fear- fear of the unknown, fear of failure, or fear of success. The impetus for change is often the greatest factor for behavioral change. We have to find ourselves in an unwanted/uncomfortable situation to motivate the change response. Thus sometimes such unwanted and uncomfortable situations are actually quite functional. Allowing yourself to be present in your need for change will inevitably promote your drive to change. It is this perspective, offered by mindfulness practice, that fosters growth in change rather than fear of change. Women of all ages, are encouraged to nurture, smooth out the rough spots and avoid unwanted and uncomfortable situations, sometimes at their own expense and at the detriment of change. If you want change, you must first be mindful of your present state, circumstance and situation, then you may move toward change and growth with healthy perceptions instead of fearful expectations.
The only constant in life is change. The question is how do you bring about the change you prefer and what inhibits us from reaching the desires we wish to have? The simple answer is doubt and fear. Doubt is a reality all onto itself. Most of the time, we are creating experiences from beliefs that are not aligned with what we prefer. Therefore, what shows up in our lives is not what we desire. Another way to sat this is to say: most obstacles are self created obstacles that holds us where we are so can we learn more about ourselves. Dive into any obstacles to learn what old beliefs no longer serve who you are. Discover what fears are in the way of having a more passionate life. The fear can be a useful tool to show you that you are not being truthful with yourself. You must likely are operating with a belief you were fed as a child. We did not question most of what we belief as a young child such as our name, cultural beliefs and traditions, and the list is too long to mention. Once you have identified what beliefs have held you back, you can choose what you really prefer. It does not have to be difficult.
Women need women! We need to connect, love, trust and support each other. We have been raised in a society where we are taught through advertising media, folklore, and culture to focus on appearance, looks, and that a handsome prince will rescue us. And this all generates fear, scarcity, and competition. I do not know where I would be without female friends I can share my guts with. And I had to take risks to make each one of those friends. Risks in being vulnerable. Dip your toe in, share what is really going on. Most women will take the bait because they are craving that connection too. If you can’t find cool women in your everyday circles at work, school or the gym. A twelve step meeting might be great, a yoga class you show up at every week, a scrap booking class. If this all sounds scary or you have trauma in your past with women, a women’s therapy group might feel safer. And as you grow there in trust, it will translate to your outside life!
Did you know that the feeling of self-doubt is actually a sign that you are moving in the right direction? Feelings of insecurity let us know we are pushing against our comfort zone and extending into realms of new possibilities. Self-doubt is natural when we enter into the new. Self-doubt is actually a sign that growth is occurring and an opportunity for powerful change. Yes, self-doubt feels uncomfortable. Yes, it can feel overwhelming. Yes, there is a natural tendency to avoid self-doubt. I encourage you instead to turn towards it, embrace it, and learn from it.
Acknowledge the self-doubt. See it for what it is – a sign that you are adventuring into a place of personal growth.
Validate the self-doubt. Instead of denying it allow yourself to experience self-doubt as a natural part of the change process. Have compassion for your self-doubt, it’s trying to keep you safe” in your same old patterns of being. Lean into it and learn from it and then release your self-doubt. Allow the self-doubt to fall away through reframing your thoughts and beliefs, shifting focus, and moving forward.
I call for a worldwide conversation among women of all ages to discuss the current state of their relationships and family challenges. Specifically women must co create a worldwide network of support in order to provide mentoring, role modeling, and knowledge in terms of preventing abuse, and the breakdown of marriage and family relationships, There must be a village created in our communities where women and children receive immediate help and protection when the family is in crisis. We must expose the devastating outcome divorce creates and no women or child should be left alone in the process. In addition, there must be a conversation about prevention. For change to occur there must be a powerful conversation and movement to overhaul the family court system. Lets not allow women and children to live in isolation and silence. In addition I call for a conversation about promoting prevention strategies in order to address physical, sexual, and psychological abuse occuring in high conflict marriages (relationships) and families. I have both knowledge and experience that I want to share regarding prevention strategies and divorce mediation.
In order to empower change in your life you need to accept your true authentic self JUST AS YOU ARE. You need to embrace all about being human and imperfect in addition to all your positive attributes and successes. You must learn to be comfortable in your own skin and believe you deserve the best even in the face of adversity (repeated at times). You must push through your failures as some of the most successful people risked and risked again in business, in romance and in life after failing repeatedly. Sometimes we all have to “act as if” we believe when our insides feel differently. Know that NO human being on this planet hasn’t gone through feelings of insecurity, inferiority or doubt. The people that succeed never never never give up. They stay as a dog on a sock with their passion to achieve what they want at all cost! Find support people or community programs that believe in you and your goals. We need others to support us through the process and yes YOU can do it!
Don’t accept a NO from someone who doesn’t have the power to offer you a YES. In the journey of life, we will often be given a no and for most people they will accept that answer and walk away. These hard no’s can bring up feelings of rejection and deflation. But why give that much power to another person who may not understand your request or even be the right person to be asking in the first place?
Instead, be curious about where the no comes from and if that person has the ability to understand or implement a yes. Search out who the potential yes resource could be and also reexamine your question to see if there is a way to make it more precise and powerful. If we can access a deeper level of information, room can be created for the possibility of a tentative yes, which can blossom into a fully vetted YES with lots of support.
From early in life, women are taught to hold themselves and other women to unrealistic and unhealthy standards that are not often placed on their male counterparts. They are told to value women for their appearance rather than their contributions, for their passivity rather than their strength, for their silence rather than their resilience. Change begins when these societal constructs are challenged. Women play a tremendous role in the lives of their sons, husbands, fathers, brothers, etc. In order to see change in the status of women in our society, women must empower the men in their lives to be respectful, encouraging, and loving towards all women. Collaboration between strong men and women to empower others to strive for personal growth will contribute to societal change.
Therapy can be an effective tool to instill positive change and encourage growth individually and within relationships. Examining one’s values and biases and exploring events in one’s life that have led to these can help to highlight areas in which you wish to grow and develop. Change can be achieved – on an individual and societal level – if there is a desire and an effort to do so.
Keep a strong relationship with your self-worth, self-love and value, follow your deepest intuitive guidance and trust everything is working out perfectly.
When you find yourself feeling uncomfortable; that’s when you know change will happen. When we live in comfort; we have no motivation to grow or change. The next time you feel uncomfortable or challenged, sit with it, breath through it, and face it straight on because we are built to overcome the stuff that we are given in this life.
Be willing to create a better you so you can have a better life! Getting the answer to ‘the problem.” Pulling down your personal curtain, moving forward and doing something different.
Don’t allow limiting beliefs prevent you from seeking your full passion or potential. Whatever was said to you that is stooping you from moving forward can be addressed and understood. Have empathy for that individual that hurt you. Pain can be worked through. Think to be Different!
Emotional Freedom is the Path to Emotional Wisdom. Our past is our knowledge. Do not run from your past or you run from yourself.
Honor your past; heal the present. We have earned what we have learned; Life.
Do not be afraid of failure.
Generally, the females are expected to be superwoman, so are more affected by failure. Woman have to be mindful to push themselves to take risks and go outside of their comfort zones and use the lessons to be better at what they desire.
Own your own unique gift and voice by surrounding yourself with at least a few other female friends/colleagues that will encourage you to express yourself, share your vulnerability, and let your hair down! It’s time to get out there and celebrate our stories, our potential, and our power as connected women to transform our world. I’m always surprised by how much support I feel to move forward, courageously, when I connect heart to heart with other women.
We women are so incredibly hard on ourselves and we miss opportunities to lift not only ourselves, but our fellow women up. We often don’t remember all the struggles we’ve overcome in order to get where we are in life, whether that is as a stay at home mom who had a difficult childbirth, a factory worker who is surviving in a tough environment, or an entrepreneur who knows what it means to fail 10 times on the way to success. When you’re having a tough day, remember how far you’ve come and what you have already survived. I bet you will find evidence that you are stronger than you give yourself credit for. If you see a girlfriend struggling, reach out and remind her of just how far she’s come. We all can use a little positive reflection sometimes.